Bonnie's Three A's

Bonnie’s Three A’s
Bonnie had invited us for soup. When we were newbies in town Bonnie invited us to her cabin for an afternoon, and our families had such a good time that we stayed for three days. We took some great trips. She taught us how to make the “World’s Best Chicken Soup”. Bonnie was teaching English—and what English teacher would live in the same community as Tom Robbins and make no effort to know him? She read several of his books, called him up. Surprise. He agreed to meet.. As a parent she ever so sweetly provided the school district an epiphany—concerned mothers gained preeminence over the Good Ole Boy network at school board meetings. She retired last week after 22 years, teaching in the gifted student program. . Students and colleagues loved her. They had asked her to speak. And she did.
Bonnie had made the chicken soup for us. We were just starting dessert, and Pinky said, “Bonnie, what an honor. Was it hard or was it like teaching a class?”
“It was hard,” she said. “I had stage fright for weeks. But it was okay when I actually got in front of the group.” She had made us dinner. We were pushing her hard to hear the talk she had given.
“Are you going to give it again?” Pinky asked.
“Once was enough.”
“Will you let us read it?” I asked.
“I just have a couple of note cards.”
“Did you choose the topic?” I inquired.
“I did. That was the hard part.”
“So what did you choose?”
“I thought about the people in my life: friends, family, colleagues, students. I asked myself what they had taught me, and my answer was: how to approach life.”
“Now I really want to hear it,” Pinky said..
“It’s too long. We’ve got dessert to eat, and we’ve got to talk about our children. But I can give you the gist.”
“What’s the title?”
“I called it ‘The three A’s of Effective People.”
“A mantra of “A’s”, I like three, more would be two many,” I interjected.
“Let her talk. I want to know what they stand for?” asked Pinky
Bonnie laughed. “My first “A” is for Awareness. It might be listening, observing, realizing a significance, knowing background information. And then I gave some examples. The second and most important lesson they taught me was “A” for Attitude. It can turn the world around. And I had some examples. Then, I had an “A” for Action, for the people who make things happen. The examples were easy. The movers and shakers are easy to remember. And that was my talk.” She clapped her hands together, and smiled a big smile. “And it turned out great. I had lots of nice comments afterwards.”
We could feel her joy when she had clapped her hands, but we also knew that our teacher was moving on to another topic. And so we did— visiting about our own children.
Several days later, I thought about those three “A’s”, and I thought about them again off and on over several years, because I had this question: Is the crux that the three “A’s” are related? Aren’t we obliged to put them together: awareness, then attitude, then action.?
I can recall a small personal success as an example. Ten of us in the dive group had leisurely walked the half mile back to the resort along the beach of Grand Cayman at 9 o’clock, after dinner. Babette phoned. She had lost a bracelet, her favorite bracelet. She recalled having it in the restaurant and was sure that it fell off as she meandered down the beach with us. I called everyone in the group. We met again at their condo to help Babette. They questioned her intently, was she sure that she: wore it to dinner, saw it in the restaurant, first missed it at the condo? Well, yes, we could walk the beach again they said. They were discouraged, but most thought that we should walk the beach again to try. They expected not to find it. I sensed that she just wanted everyone to leave, so that she could cry and deal with her loss in peace. She was preparing herself to give up. I knew we had to find it. “No! No!” I said. “Everybody get your dive light and come with me. We are going to find it.” Even Babette was going through the motions. “Really!” I said. We checked the restaurant and tried to trace our steps. I walked ahead, shining my light from the grass to the water as if mowing a lawn with an electric trimmer. I wouldn’t let them talk. I spread them out 10 abreast, shining lights on every square inch. Concentrate, it is there. About a quarter mile from the restaurant I saw a piece of metal…not a bracelet…maybe a half buried dime. I reached down and pulled, and the gold bracelet came out of the wet sand. I was dumbfounded. Concentrating on their sweeping beams, they didn’t see my find. I walked to Babette, took her hand and put the bracelet on it. Wow! What a rush for us both. I had realized how special the bracelet was to her, believed that we could find it, organized a search and did find it…the three A’s each one leading to the next..
Bonnie, for years I have wondered about your examples, and I have wondered this: Was synergy was on your mind when you thought of your “A’s”?