Riding Together

Riding Together


Today we are negotiating a local trip, about 20 miles to Sylvana. If you want to ride with Pinky, you have to learn.
“Are we going to ride together or is it going to be me alone with the wind again?” Pinky asked.
“Together, of course. Do you want to lead? .”
“Oh, no you don’t.”
“You’d have control. I’d follow you anywhere.” he teased.
” You’re not drafting behind me. Just don’t ride off and leave me.”
“Let me get this right. You want to control the speed, but you want to do it from behind.”
“That would be fine.”
“Think about it. We can pick a speed and try to hold it there, but one mile an hour faster or slower and you will want to change the speed again.”
“I want you in front to pull me, and I want you to find the way.”
“Fine, But it’s no fair complaining that I am going to slow.”
“Well I don’t want to brake all the time to keep from hitting you.”
“What about down the hills? I coast downhill faster than you pedal, so I get ahead. It is only reasonable that you let me use that momentum to get part way up the next hill.”
“Then wait at the top if you’re ahead,” she said. She waited a second and continued, “Don’t you like to chat a little?”
“Right. That’s when I get to talk – when you’re out of breath climbing a hill.”
“Yes. That’s perfect,” she was chuckling.
“We could get a tandem,” he said.
“No way. I want to control my own fate. And I don’t want to be staring at the sweat on your plumber’s butt for hours on end.”
“Yeah. But we’d go like a scalded cat downhill.”
“That’s terror, not fun.”
“Still, there is no reason for me to ride with you, if you just try to ride off into the sunset. What part of this do we to together? The ride in the car?” she asks.
“What is the definition of ‘together’?” he asks.
“Within earshot”
“Whispering?” he paused, “or shouting?”
“Well I guess nobody rides right together with somebody else, do they?” Pinky relented.
“They intermittently wait. Then they can slow down and chat or stop,” he said.
“Then in the interest of togetherness, how does a true friend wait?” Pinky asked
“Is it ten minutes, on the hilltops, for lunch break, at the car, in the bar, or stick like glue?” he guessed.
“I hate having you stuck right to me. Your impatience is palpable. It’s like getting dressed while you’re shaking the car keys impatiently watching me in the mirror as I blow- dry my hair.”
“I don’t try to rush you on the bike.”
“It is just how I feel when you are behind me,” she explains.
“And I don’t like getting too far ahead because I have to ride back, usually up a hill to fix your flat.”
What’s the answer? How can you do it so that everybody has fun? You learn to enjoy the negotiation. The wife makes secret rules. The husband guesses them. The fundamentally constant …yet they must be sufficiently flexible that the husband is accustomed to guessing pretty constantly which variation of the rules is in force.
Listen. You can usually tell if you should be obeying an old rule or guessing a new one. Negotiate. One day she may spontaneously invite you to ride, so be ready; because on the last ride, something redlined the fun meter for her. What was fun was it? Do that again…and again.

My Guess at Pinky’s Current Secret Rules
1. Riding together. If I am not right behind you, wait for me at the top of every hill. (I don’t want you to lose the momentum of a downhill.)
2. My stomach is more important than my bladder. If I say, “I’m hungry.” That’s an emergency.
3. I like you to ride in front. But listen for my voice, as I might have instructions. I could get hungry at any moment. If you get ahead remember rule #1.
4. My speedometer must be working.
5. Any verbalized distance estimate is a promise.
6. I’m not fond of riding after dark. And if you make me ride in the rain, expect to really pay. Dark, raining and cold is over the top and mandates motorized transportation. Add in truck traffic, and I want jewelry.
7. I expect you to recognize developing bikephobia and take preventive action.
8. My bike and all of my equipment should be at least as good as yours.

I get one rule…the Dog Rule. I will deal with the dog. If at all possible get ahead of me. Do not stop or brake. I will slow. Most likely he will approach me. If he continues toward you, I can head him off. I have to be behind to do this. Please do not yell. It communicates fear rather than authority.